Pierced

Today marks one month since I brought Haven into the world. As she slid out into the nurse's waiting arms at exactly 7:30am, the room was filled with my anguished sobs. It was the most heartbreaking and beautiful moment of my life. One of the nurses said, "she is so perfect, Brandi." I was out of my mind with grief, and my husband was holding me and crying with me. It should have been her little squawking cries filling the room. She should have been hurried onto my chest for skin on skin time. I should have been trying to nurse her. Instead, she was out, and forever parted from my body, the only home she ever knew.

So many moments from that weekend are etched into my mind forever.

Today, I had a single lobe piercing done in Haven's honour. When it heals, I am going to get an amethyst stud for it; Haven's birthstone.

I like the idea of having a visible reminder of her with me at all times. Most people will never see my beautiful stretch marks! It's something pretty for my pretty girl.

Oh, Haven. Mama misses you so much, sweetheart. I'll never, EVER forget you.