Stretch Marks

When we first found out I was pregnant, I was in shock. I had suspected that I might be pregnant, but because we had been planning to start trying about seven months later, my mind somehow didn't believe it could have happened that one and only time...

Shock eased into cautious excitement pretty quickly. Then, after the first trimester, I started to relax and settle into motherhood. I watched my belly grow with delight. I relished every change, every pain, every new sign that my little girl was growing strong. The sight of other children made me smile. Holding babies made my heart sing. I found myself having a greater capacity to love others because I loved the little person growing inside of me so very much. Joy bubbled up inside of me at the thought of her, and I marveled at the beauty of life.

I really believe that carrying my precious daughter made me a better person. A kinder person. Being a mother changes the way you think and the way you experience life. I found myself seeing every person I met as someone's baby. I am about to say the cheesiest thing ever: loving Haven made my heart grow. My heart has "stretch marks" now, much like the beautiful stretch marks that Haven left on my skin. They show the world that she was here, that she lived.

My baby may not be in my arms, but I am a mother now. I hope that I never forget the things that she taught me.